Parent Like A Leader: 2016

Thursday, December 8, 2016

EMBRACE FAILURE

In today's society, failure is unacceptable. We avoid it at all cost, and we do everything possible to protect our children from its dire consequences. As a result, we deprive them of experiencing the benefits inherent in a willingness to fail.

When we are afraid to fail, we close ourselves off from possibilities. We avoid taking risks. We would rather do nothing than take the chance of being wrong. We can see this in the athlete who hesitates to go for the basket because he/she might miss, in the student who sits silently in class afraid to give the incorrect answer, or in the individual who gives up on his/her dream because it might not be successful.

The world is filled with successful people who got it wrong the first time they tried. Steven King had his first novel rejected 30 times. Henry Ford went broke five times because his early businesses failed before he started Ford Motor Company. The Beatles were told "no" by a record company. Harrison Ford was once told he would never be successful in the movie business. One of the greatest gifts we can give our children is permission to see failure as merely an opportunity to adjust course and try something new.

Rosemond Certified Leadership Parenting Coach

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

"PARENT LIKE A LEADER" WORKSHOP

Are you drained by the end of the day?

Do you find parenting stressful?

Are you tired of repeating yourself over and

over again – only to be ignored?

Do you eagerly await the evening so you

can put the kids to bed and finally have some

peace and quiet In your own home?

Have you forgotten what it’s like to take time for yourself?

Do you spend a great deal of energy worrying about the happiness and/or success of your children?

Do you feel like you have put your own life

on hold since becoming a parent?

If so, you are definitely not alone! Trust us.

It’s not too late to turn things around.

CLICK THE BLUE "PARENT LIKE A LEADER" WORKSHOP LINK AT THE TOP OF THIS POST
FOR MORE INFORMATION!

Don't Lose Sight of the Big Picture!

Many times while my children were growing up, I found myself getting upset, angry, and frustrated with one thing or another. Instead of enjoying our relationship to the fullest, I often worried about grades, messy rooms, unusual hair styles, boyfriends, girlfriends, the future, the past, etc. Now that my children are all married adults with little ones of their own, I can't even remember the reasons for many of our arguments and disagreements, and most of the things I worried about never happened.

In the midst of life's minor annoyances, it's easy to lose sight of what really matters. We can all too easily miss the forest for the trees. When you find your relationship with your children becoming strained over things that won't matter a few months from now, take a step back and ask yourself these questions?

Is it worth putting a strain on our relationship?
Will I even care about this situation in a few weeks?
What am I really upset about?
How can I handle this in a way that keeps our relationship in tact?
How would I have liked my own parents to have dealt with this issue?
What is the lesson I want to teach my son/daughter about handling conflicts?

Rosemond Certified Leadership Parenting Coach

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

LIFE IS NOT FAIR!

I heard on the news the other day that some colleges and universities in the United States were setting up safe spaces for their grieving students. They were giving them the opportunity to color, use playdough, drink hot chocolate, skip tests, and utilize therapy dogs and therapy ponies to cope with their overwhelming sadness. What tragic loss had these students experienced you might ask. The answer is that they were traumatized by the results of our recent election. I'm sure that these varied efforts to assist students came from a place of caring and compassion on the part of the university professionals. The problem is that in the process these young men and women were being reinforced in their beliefs that they were emotionally fragile and unable to handle life's challenges and disappointments.

When my children were little, one of the worst things they could say to me at the time (or so I thought) was that I was not being fair. Oh, how I dreaded those words. However, it didn't really matter what I did or did not do. If it wasn't to their liking, I was guilty of the dreaded unfairness crime. I've changed my mind about the whole concept of fairness since then.

Sure, in an ideal world, it would be wonderful if everyone received "fair" treatment and justice and kindness prevailed. However, in the real world, unfairness runs rampant. In my life, I've experienced grief and challenging situations many times. Good friends of mine lost three of their four young daughters to Cystic Fibrosis. Another very dear friend was diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer and passed away after aggressive chemotherapy treatment. My OB/GYN daughter suffered two miscarriages and then had to go into work and deliver babies. A beloved co-worker suffered and died from ALS as her young family watched her slowly lose the everyday abilities we all take for granted. Not too many months ago, my little granddaughter was lucky to survive after being found by my son hanging with a rope wrapped around her neck on a slide, unconscious and not breathing. Life is filled with bad things that happen to good people. They lose their jobs, their spouses, their homes, their loved ones, and more - and none of it is fair.

Sweeping unfairness from the paths of our children all of the time does them an injustice. It deprives them of the opportunity to learn to handle small disappointments, and it can create a sense of entitlement. Of course, I am not recommending sitting back and doing nothing about serious issues. However, allowing our sons and daughters the opportunity to handle the regular disappointments of life without catastrophizing them builds their resilience. When life eventually hits them with greater setbacks, they will be prepared to face them head on!

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Ten Tips for Raising Responsible Children

Many parents today complain about the challenges of raising children. We want so many wonderful things for our sons and daughters, and we don't want them to have to learn the difficult lessons of life the hard way. We often place a great deal of focus on their happiness at the expense of other, equally important, qualities. Happy adults usually feel capable of solving their own problems, take personal responsibility for their actions and choices, and contribute something to the world they live in.

So how do we raise children who will be prepared to handle the challenges facing them in adulthood? Consider these ten tips for raising responsible children:

Say "no" to their requests on a fairly regular basis in order to help them develop a tolerance for disappointment and frustration.

Let them solve their own problems as often as possible in order to foster resourcefulness.

Don't rush to rescue them from disappointments and heartache. Being able to bounce back from tough experiences is a critical component of resilience.

Let them know they are needed in the family by giving them meaningful chores.

Take them to volunteer with you.

Expect courtesy at all times.

Don't let them see you as their personal slave.

Allow them opportunities to demonstrate that they are capable by letting them do things for themselves.

Realize that if you expect them to be truthful, you have to be able to "hear" the truth without erupting like a volcano.

Teach them that mistakes are a part of life. Help your children see them as learning opportunities.

Rosemond Certified Leadership Parenting Coach